Menikah dan Kaidahnya Dalam Perspektif Millenials – Pernah dengar ketika teman Anda menikah, Anda menyelamatinya seakan-akan ia berhasil meraih suatu gelar? Seperti, “wah hebat ya kamu menikah di usia muda, sungguh suatu pencapaian yang luar biasa”. Tapi mungkin akan lebih seperti, “selamat menempuh hidup baru ya”. Benar bukan? Tentu saja kedua frasa ini memiliki perbedaan arti. Frasa pertama, lebih seperti apresiasi atas prestasi yang sudah diraih. Sedangkan frasa kedua, lebih seperti menyelamati karena telah melewati suatu fase dalam hidup. Secara lazim, kita sering sekali mendengar frasa kedua ini. Artinya secara tidak langsung kita tidak menyelamatinya karena dia berprestasi namun karena dia telah melewati fase hidup yang kebanyakan orang akan alami. Lahir, tumbuh kembang, jatuh cinta, menikah, memiliki keturunan, hingga meninggal adalah fase hidup yang dijalani oleh manusia. Terutama fase lahir, tumbuh kembang, dan  meninggal adalah takdir manusia. Namun jatuh cinta, menikah, memiliki keturunan, belum tentu semua manusia melewati fase ini. Lalu apa kaitannya dengan perspektif millenials?

Kebanyakan generasi millenials (sample kelahiran 1990-1995), sedang berada dalam fase akan menikah, sudah menikah, bahkan sudah memiliki anak. Secara matematis usia mereka adalah 23 hingga 28 pada tahun 2018. Usia-usia ini menjadi usia krusial bagi kehidupan manusia, karena pada usia ini banyak fase yang akan dilalui, tak terkecuali menikah (bagi mereka yang menikah pada range usia ini) semua tergantung pada perspektif masing-masing individu. Namun generasi millenials yang lahir setelah generasi baby boomers ini memang masih banyak terpengaruh oleh para pendahulunya. Generasi baby boomers yang merupakan orang tua dari generasi millenials, akan berusaha memberikan yang terbaik untuk pernikahan anaknya. Apalagi ketika sang anak merupakan anak perempuan, maka keluarganya akan lebih memperhatikan perihal pernikahan ketimbang jika memiliki seorang anak laki-laki. Hal ini sangat diwajarkan mengingat kebanyakan generasi baby boomers masih memegang budaya, bahwa pernikahan harus dimeriahkan dengan pesta. Padahal jika kita tanya kepada sang anak, belum tentu ingin seperti itu. Mengapa? Karena para generasi millenials yang memiliki pemikiran lebih luas, akan banyak mempertimbangkan soal biaya. Kebanyakan bahkan berpendapat, uang pernikahan lebih baik ditabungkan untuk membeli rumah atau hal-hal lainnya yang sama pentingnya. Namun tetap saja, pernikahan terkadang menjadi suatu kebanggaan tersendiri bagi orang tua. Bahkan ada frasa sarkasme mengenai hal ini, “menikah itu murah, yang mahal itu gengsi”. Wajar? Tentu sangat wajar.

Baca juga : “Menguak Cahaya Di Negara Adidaya”

Tapi lalu apakah menikah merupakan sebuah pencapaian? Seperti pada paragraf pertama artikel ini, bahwa pernikahan adalah fase yang sebagian orang akan lalui. Meskipun terkadang tidak diketahui kapan pernikahan itu terjadi, kapan kita bertemu dengan jodoh, dan kapan kita tahu bahwa seorang yang sedang dekat dengan kita akan menjadi pasangan hidup kita. Lalu bagaimana sikap kita tentang pasangan itu sendiri? Bagaimana kita menemukannya? Sebagai generasi millenials yang notabene punya pengetahuan yang lebih luas, menyerap informasi lebih mudah, mengetahui perkembangan jaman lebih pesat, dan juga ada dalam tahap pematangan sikap, adalah hal yang wajar ketika seseorang menjadi seorang yang pemilih dalam menentukan pasangannya. Generasi millenials ini biasanya lebih banyak sharing dengan sesama atau bahkan dengan yang lebih dewasa. Hal itu membuat para millenials mempunyai kriteria yang mungkin menjadi standarnya. Jika di dalam paragraf kedua, millenials banyak yang menikah karena pengaruh orang tuanya. Maka di paragraf ini ditunjukkan para millenials justru terkesan picky dan tidak semudah itu untuk menuju fase pernikahan. Faktanya, sebagian millenials memang masih memegang teguh dan mengiyakan kehendak orang tuanya untuk menikah cepat. Namun sebagian lainnya, millenials memang memilih untuk tidak terlalu cepat untuk menikah karena faktor-faktor seperti standar dan keinginan lainnya. Banyak yang belum menikah juga beralasan mereka ingin mengejar karir dan menggapai mimpi. Ini adalah pernyataan yang sepenuhnya benar karena tidak ada alasan untuk dapat menyanggah orang-orang yang ingin menggapai impiannya. Sebagian orang berpendapat, dengan menikah akan menghambat ia untuk menggapai impiannya. Contohnya, ketika seseorang yang punya keingian menamatkan pendidikan master ataupun doktoral sebelum usia 30. Maka kebanyakan dari mereka akan memilih untuk tidak berkeluarga dulu hingga keinginannya tercapai. Pun dengan orang-orang yang memiliki cita-cita untuk berkarir di luar negeri, kebanyakan dari mereka akan memilih untuk melajang terlebih dahulu ketimbang menikah.

Tidak ada pernyataan yang salah antara keduanya, antara mereka yang memilih menikah cepat ataupun mereka yang memilih menikah nanti. Keduanya memiliki dasar yang kuat dengan arsirannya masing-masing. Tidak bijak ketika para generasi millenials yang sudah menikah, menghakimi para millenials yang belum menikah. Pun berlaku hal yang sama untuk para millenials yang belum menikah, tidak berhak menghakimi mereka yang sudah menikah. Perihal kapan dan bagaimana, itu adalah hal yang abstrak yang tidak perlu diperbincangkan. Perspektif menikah di kalangan millenials memiliki arti yang lebih luas ketimbang generasi sebelumnya. Menikah bukanlah perihal waktu, usia, dan teman, namun tentang keyakinan kepada pasangan dan kesiapan, bukankah begitu?

  • Penulis     : Maulana Muhammad
  • Redaktur  : Arri Rama Putra
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14 thoughts on “Menikah dan Kaidahnya Dalam Perspektif Millenials”

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